Author Archives: Alan Corcoran

Garden State Driving Tips

By now everyone knows to avoid driving through New Jersey after a gubernatorial election. In particular you want to avoid cities with a Democratic mayor that did not endorse the Republican winner. But that’s all water under the George Washington … Continue reading

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Dead and Disappointed

Recent advances by the experts in paranormal science at the NSA have enabled eavesdropping on the dead. The new capabilities give the agency access to channels previously accessible only to mediums and psychics, paving the way for posthumous monitoring of … Continue reading

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Of Michael Sam, Richie Incognito and locker rooms…

Last week the sports and social media were all aflutter with the news of Michael Sam’s pre-NFL draft announcement that he’s gay. A few outlets reported that his draft value would be diminished by this revelation, some citing teams wanting … Continue reading

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The Creature of Habit Meets the Flitter

Editor’s note: The following originally appeared as “Column One” in the 2013 (final) edition of the Fake LA Times I sent East at Christmas for twenty years… ANAHEIM HILLS – Despite my annual efforts to package my existence as a … Continue reading

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Our Divided Nation

You don’t need to be a pundit or connoisseur of the blogosphere to know our nation has become more polarized than ever. Nirvana for one is anathema to another. Whether discussing the budget, proposed controls, alleged leaks, environmental issues – … Continue reading

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Top Ten Pundit Talking Points Targetted For Termination

If you watch Stewart or Colbert, you are familiar with the phenomenom of a catchphrase being coined and then spreading like a virus to every talking head on the tube (LEDs, plasmas, what-have-you.) It’s bad enough that they’re all bleating … Continue reading

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Ten Reasons Thanksgiving is Better than Christmas

10. No gifts to buy. Or wrap. Or return. 9. Always on a Thursday. Always a four day weekend. Unless you work for Walmart. 8. No Thanksgiving songs. 7. No Tree. 6. No lights. No ladders. No extension cords. No … Continue reading

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Top Ten Gifts I Got From Obama

Mitt Romney recently unveiled the shocking secret of why I voted for Barack Obama instead of him. It was the gifts of course! You’d think a guy with his kind of dough would have ponied up something, but, it was … Continue reading

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You Might Be a Target of A Government Sting Operation If…

… your co-conspirator’s e-mail ends in .gov. … sleeper cell carpool is three Crown Vic’s and your Scion. … your new non-drinking buddy offered you a nuke for the exact balance of your savings account. … the radio station in … Continue reading

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Not Funny Jokes

“Hey, that’s not funny!” A Jew, A Catholic and a Muslim walk into a bar. They get into a loud argument and the bartender asks them to leave. Two guys are stranded on a desert island. Crazed by thirst they … Continue reading

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