Author Archives: Alan Corcoran

Top Ten Pundit Talking Points Targetted For Termination

If you watch Stewart or Colbert, you are familiar with the phenomenom of a catchphrase being coined and then spreading like a virus to every talking head on the tube (LEDs, plasmas, what-have-you.) It’s bad enough that they’re all bleating … Continue reading

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Ten Reasons Thanksgiving is Better than Christmas

10. No gifts to buy. Or wrap. Or return. 9. Always on a Thursday. Always a four day weekend. Unless you work for Walmart. 8. No Thanksgiving songs. 7. No Tree. 6. No lights. No ladders. No extension cords. No … Continue reading

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Top Ten Gifts I Got From Obama

Mitt Romney recently unveiled the shocking secret of why I voted for Barack Obama instead of him. It was the gifts of course! You’d think a guy with his kind of dough would have ponied up something, but, it was … Continue reading

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You Might Be a Target of A Government Sting Operation If…

… your co-conspirator’s e-mail ends in .gov. … sleeper cell carpool is three Crown Vic’s and your Scion. … your new non-drinking buddy offered you a nuke for the exact balance of your savings account. … the radio station in … Continue reading

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Not Funny Jokes

“Hey, that’s not funny!” A Jew, A Catholic and a Muslim walk into a bar. They get into a loud argument and the bartender asks them to leave. Two guys are stranded on a desert island. Crazed by thirst they … Continue reading

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How I Became a Record Label

It all started back in 2008 when my friend Brandon coaxed me out for a night of bohemia. Being older than dirt and not much of a social animal, I’d become the definition of “don’t get out much.” Brandon thought … Continue reading

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Fear and (Self) Loathing in Avonlea

It all started off somewhat innocuously, back in April, with an e-mail from a certain artistic director I know. He’d landed a pretty cool regional gig and was sharing the news. After I congratulated him, I could not resist putting … Continue reading

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I Flew Three Million Miles on American…

…and all I got were these luggage tags. Okay, that’s not exactly true. I didn’t actually fly 3 million miles. When you get to a certain mileage level, they juice your stats a bit. Technically speaking, I probably have only … Continue reading

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Intermittent Exotropia

Recently discovered that after a few weeks of intense piano practice I tend to get a little dizzy at the keyboard.  My genius eye doctor friend listened to my symptoms, made a preliminary guess as to the cause and confirmed … Continue reading

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Dreams, Distractions and Serenity

[Ed. note: reprinted from ’10 holiday newsletter.] It’s been kind of weird year so I figured now’s a good time as any to ruminate on some crackpot ideas that have been rattling around in the old noggin’. Can’t say they … Continue reading

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